I crave the dark confines of your mouth.
The silence that wont let me say anything
The unsaidness of everything I say
beautiful things disguised as fingers and hands and limbs and ears
forbidden continents of unknown spices
the smell of the rains and hills
Here I stand alone,
unseen poetry, unknown words
bursting in my head like peach blossoms in winter.

I lost you too quickly
in the tumultuous waves of my mind
I drifted to other thoughts
and left your screaming behind

there is a flash of red
they made a spectacle of you
your in the cirus ring
jumping hoops

I lost you too quickly
and you were gone
and each goosbump of fear
melted to skin

That was yesterday
and I was on to other things
there were things to do
and people to please

Today i tried to conjure you up again
but I lost you too quickly
and you were gone
you left a caricature of your pain
just enough to pontificate
just enough to say I understand
yes yes i see it
its awful
too true,
Just enough to say enough

but YOU, you were gone
you with your red scarf
you with your eyes closed in wincing pain
you with your white clenched clenched knuckels
your scream like a bubble of blood and bile.
the pick axe pinprick of your eyes
I lost you too quickly
and you were gone.

I dropped it in the letterbox today
it should reach you in a day or two
tell me if my love wont get to you
and maybe then a courier will have to do

Its a small envelope
you can keep it in your back pocket
or in that jacket that you like
it could lie by your keys on the mantelpiece
keep it close, dont lose it
Im sending you all my love.

Will you tell her

Will you tell her today please
that today i want to be silent
I want to look inside me
there is the dusting and laundry to do

Will you tell her that today I want to be silent
and still
not move
will you tell her her song is beautiful
but today i cant hear
today i have things to do inside me

I can hear your bangles climbing the stairs
dont ring the doorbell
there is no one home today
tomorrow maybe there will be things to give her
but today i must be alone

I want smudged rainy sunshine on a windshield with you
maybe tomorrow we can find it
Today i must be still
the oils need changing
the brakes need braking
the gears gearing
i need to be quiet today

The birds have made their nests
the little birds are coming
dont crowd me
I cannot hear tham yet
You will know when they come
but today, today I must be still.

Love Song to Self,

I like this you see
sitting here
legs up on a chair
black lap top
sort of dripping, kind of curly black hair

The day is full of promise
groggy clouds
argumentative sunshine
and here I am
sort of dripping, kind of curly black hair

Im waiting but I was here first
and I saw it rain while you slept
When you come you will see I cycled
through the smell of new rain happy enough to have wept
Sort of dripping kind of curly black hair

A new city will walk me home today
a new house will call me home
Maybe I'll make a new friend today
maybe someone else will cycle by and see
Sort of dripping kind of curly black hair

The brain fever bird knows monsoon is here
its just our little secret
Morse code and short stop. stop. telegraph rain drops
today its just me and my sort of dripping kind of curly black hair.

Yellow kurta, white salwar,
yellow chappals
and silver earning and nose rings and toe rings
Dripping drops kissing, sort of curly for the day, black hair.

No Pathos
no poignance
no existentialism
nope,this is just my love song to my no longer dripping, not so curly, black hair